well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
