found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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