I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
