Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
