Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
