That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
