so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize