I got chris browned last night
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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