ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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