Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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