That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize