i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
