either way he was missing a nipple.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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