Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
