and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
