Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
