Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
