Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
