At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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