So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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