Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
