Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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