It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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