Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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