I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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