that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize