Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize