so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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