yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
