Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize