would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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