Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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