So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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