I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
