you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
