Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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