Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
