Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
