he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Randomize