Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
