Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
