I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
