fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
