I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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