I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have post one night stand depression
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