idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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