If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
