It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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