would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think i have herpe
just one?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
