My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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