awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
