Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
