i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize