you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I just went to clothing optional bar
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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