Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
