What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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