Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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