To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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