i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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