Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
