I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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