Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
third nipple confirmed
I just want to make out with him forever
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
