conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
