What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
