He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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