So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Found your dick twin last night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
