i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize