you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
