I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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