first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
